Reply to Feeling Paralyzed with Financial Decisions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know this board is ultraconservative, but I need some financial feedback.  DH and I currently have an HHI of $400 a year.  We have a high mortgage for which we have a $4500/month PITI.  We live close in to DC, where we both work and the commute is good.  We have two kids who will start school in two years. We are doing fine on this income and contribute fully to retirement, 529s, etc., and spend a lot on extras (cleaning service, lawn service, etc.).  We have two kids and childcare is $1600/month.

But I just can't do this anymore.  I'm the primary earner and literally every day I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack I'm so stressed out at work.  An opportunity has come up for me to take a government position, but I would earn no more than $160k, which would cut our HHI to $240k - almost in half.  I tell DH every day that I can't do this job anymore, and he just shrugs and says that I should go ahead and quit and take the lower paying job and that we would be fine and would just "cut back" spending, or else move.  When I run the numbers I don't know how we could pay that mortgage.  But when I look at real estate and interest rates, there is nothing that seems workable with a reasonable commute and good public schools where we could spend less.  We would be going to a 3.5% mortgage to a 4.6% mortgage, and would have far less buying power, and would probably have to live over an hour away, and then would lose our current low-cost childcare (nearby family members).

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and have any words of advice? [/quote]

you are way over analyzing this situation OP.

You have one life, so live it the way YOU want to live it - within reasonable boundaries.  By this I mean don't do anything that will negatively effect your kids.  Other than that - what do you have to lose, except for the tremendous stress you're currently experiencing which sounds like it won't be decreasing any time soon unless you do something about it.  Your DH is on board, so do it!

and you don't have to move an hour away either, that is really being overly dramatic.  $240K isn't chump change, the issue is that you've become accustomed to living at the $400K level.

Why not do a "dry run" - rent out your current house, move into a rental at about $3k per month and see how that feels.  At the same time, start living as if you're only making $240K, and do this for at least 6 months. see how that feels. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly your "new normal" feels normal. [/quote]

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