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[quote=Anonymous]What makes you leave is intensely personal. But I’ll give you the mechanics of how I made the final decision and pulled the trigger. 
I reached a point that I knew it was time to leave. But was terrified to leap into the unknown. Have one tween child and XDH and I had been faking it for so long I knew people would freak the f@ck out when we told them. 
I did not discuss ending the marriage with my XDH because I needed to decide on my own. I went to a therapist for 5 months and discussed whether I should (yes) and then the most important thing: how to do it. She talked me through every scenario from him begging and pleading, blaming, anger and helped me memorize lines to say in return. She told me how and when to announce the divorce (kid in school, quiet house, non confrontational and matter of fact). We rehearsed this over and over. It gave me strength. 
Next I met with a child therapist and discussed how to tell my DC. She gave me strategies, talk tracks and really sage advise on how to tell DC with his father. My XDH went back to her for more advise on how to tell DC together so we had a united front. 
It was through these months of preparation that I got the courage. It was through this strategy that I asked for my divorce and it is going very amicably. 
And ignore the dipshit asshat that said you will destroy your kids with anxiety and suicide. She’s a f*cking idiot. If do you divorce well the kids will be fine. 
My biggest surprise was that the world did not stop spinning and the sky didn’t fall. And my child and I have made it through to the next phase of life pretty unscathed. 
Hope this helps and good luck. 
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