Reply to What did your parents do right in the teen years?

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[quote=Anonymous]I didn't have parents when I was a teenager, but I do have two kids who are in their 20's now and can tell you what they've appreciated:

- we balanced letting some thing slide with having expectations (you must come out of your room for dinner but fine, you can keep your hat on)
- we met them where they were.  For a year the only way to talk to my DD was to get Starbucks and go for a walk, so I did. For a year the only way to talk to my son was to play basketball in the driveway, so I did. 
- we helped with things we knew they were capable of doing.  Both kids were fully doing their own laundry by 7th grade.  But in high school during midterms and finals, we would do their laundry for them, just to make their lives a little easier.
- we helped their friends when they got into pickles.  What? Your random friend went to meet a guy an hour away and is now stuck and can't tell her parents? SURE, we'll go pick her up!  It meant a lot to our kids. I once packed lunch, complete with an "I love you, have a great day!" note for my son's friend when his girlfriend broke up with him and he couldn't be sad around his parents because they hadn't liked her to begin with.  
- we let them control their looks.  You want to dye your hair a color that will wash out your face? Sure!  You want to wear jeans with the back pocket half ripped off? Sure! You want to dress like a slob to a religious service? Sure!  We made sure they were prepared to deal with whatever reactions they would get from the public, and let them do it. 
- we would pick them up from anywhere (actually, we would still do this).  [/quote]

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