Reply to Playing "dumb and cheery/happy" with in laws

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am usually sarcastic and talkative naturally so when we visit the ILs and i am more quiet or just polite, my DH sees it as me 'not being myself' and as a dis to his parents. 
Never mind that anytime I am "myself" they take offense as say I talk too much, am too prying (just asking about weekend plans, movies they have seen etc). Even being nice and not overly open, they complain and  feel I talk too little, don't ask enough about their lives, seem distant. You really can't win. 
I have just learned to grin and pretend I am having the best time of my life. The kids moderately enjoy visiting them so I try to make it fun for them at least. [/quote]

Yeah, you can't win sometimes. I went through this issue, and my husband found fault with me. One minute I was "too familiar," the next minute I was "too distant." His issue was that he was desperate to please these people you can't please, and he was stuck in his horrible family dynamic, fighting me as the outsider. I had learned to do what everyone here suggests, and it's the only sane way to deal with these kinds of people. Eventually, he got therapy and saw the light, and now he has my back and has learned to deal with his family this way, too. We're a lot happier. [/quote]

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