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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of times as parents, we don't realize how much our reactions contribute to these terribly explosive cycles with our children. You should really check out Dr. Dan Shapiro's parenting class. I went and it really changed the way I approach my child... I also took the Unstuck and On Target class at Ivymount... that starts at age 7 though.

I mention the 2 places because I want you to know that this isn't a magic bullet. It takes really hard work to deal with a child that is out of control and triggering all your emotional baggage that you bring to parenting. I had to go through multiple sessions with therapists alone and my child doing it as well. It is work that continues.

Spankings have to stop with a child like this. That doesn't mean that there are no consequences. For my child, the most important thing was having a calm household with predictable routines. We wrote down schedules -- or did picture schedules until he could read. This gave him a sense of control. We let him pick and participate in the schedule as much as possible. We praised every good behavior we possibly could think of. This helped him to feel good about himself. That really matters to kids who get lots of punishment.

Good luck! keep pushing for an evaluation and get into Child Find so you can get an IEP set up for Kindergarten. He is going to need it.[/quote]

This is all really helpful advice. Thank you. I do think it helps for him to feel in control. I am pretty good about giving him lots of reminders and warnings when we are about to leave the house for example, and that seems to help for the most part. A schedule would probably also help (both of us, really, as I could use some daily organization). I do also think he seeks praise. Often, he will ask at the end of the day if he was good that day. It breaks my heart. We did get another appointment scheduled for Tuesday at a well reviewed center. I'll look up Child Find as well as the parent classes you suggested. Thanks again![/quote]

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