Reply to Don't know what to do about my violent child

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Don't know what to do about my violent child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm at my wit's end... spent the morning sobbing in my car.

I have an almost 5 year old son (also recently had a second child in December, and that's when things REALLY took a turn - not that things weren't extremely difficult before) who does not know how to control his anger. We haven't gotten a diagnosis yet - we are dealing with more than just lashing out and I think ADHD is at least part of what we are dealing with. My son just cannot control his impulses, the most problematic being his hitting/physical aggression. For a long time I took a little bit of solace in the fact that (I thought) he was just lashing out like this at home with us, but I'm hearing more and more about him doing so in school. He is in his last year of preschool and I'm sure this will only become a larger problem if it continues in K, which at this rate, I'm sure it will to some degree. This morning his teacher came to me and said he's been hitting pretty much daily, and that students and parents are complaining. I had no idea it had gotten so bad. His teacher is sweet and feel bad telling me these things on a daily basis but this is something I NEED to know on a daily basis so I can discipline my child appropriately.

I'm not sure if this goes on in school but he has also taken to calling us stupid pretty regularly and saying things like "I want you to die." Also unacceptable, but right now I want to focus on the hitting.

Anyway, I just don't have any idea what to do. I'm looking for advice. I know we could also be better as parents... there is a lot of yelling in the house lately. He has gotten spanked before for major transgressions but I 100% realize this sends the wrong message and really try to not let things go there. Our main go-to is taking toys away, but he has so much crap that it doesn't really make an impact beyond the first 5 minutes of being without the toy. Time outs don't really help much. Sometimes he just laughs as we are trying to implement some punishment, or continues to try to push buttons.

We are on the waiting list for a center for behavior and anxiety but we have as much as 2 more months before we will get an appt.

In the meantime, I need help. What would you do?[/quote]

Are you in public school?  If your child does have ADHD or some other issue that is "adversely impacting his education," you may be able to get support via an IEP or 504 plan.  By definition, a kid who is hitting other kids on the regular is "adversely impacting" his own education - he is probably being regularly pulled away for school work or sent to the principal or another teacher's room for discipline.  The school is obliged to do an assessment if you make a request for an IEP in writing.  Part of that assessment should be an FBA -- functional behavioral assessment - where somebody observes him and tries to identify what the triggers for disruptive behavior are so they can be addressed.

You may instead want to get a private assessment with a neuropsych.  5 is a bit young for the kind of ADHD testing that is computerized, usually 6 is the lowest age.  But, a neuropsychologist assessment would probably identify some attention issues if they are there, just by observation.  It would also rule out other causes of disruption (emotional issues like anxiety or academic problems that may be the root of acting out.)[/quote]

Thank you for the suggestion (someone else suggested too) about getting moving on the IEP/504. You're right. I want to make sure that's in place when he starts school this fall. We just got an appointment someplace else - Behavior Therapy Center of Greater Washington. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics