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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It drives me so nuts that this is all focused on the dil, where is the son!? If he’s failing to organize the visits and creates the closeness it’s somehow his wife’s fault that she does better by her family than he does by his?[/quote]

Most women are more social and better at maintaining and organizing relationships than most men (obviously this is not true for all women or all men). That's a big part of why their families end up getting more time. [/quote]
That’s a cop out.

You’re telling me a man doesn’t know how to invite his mom over? He doesn’t know how to ask to visit?

He doesn’t eat? He can’t point to a calendar and say “I will eat with my mom on this day”?

[/quote]

[b]It's not that they "can't." It's that they *don't.*[/b] I chat on the phone with my mom once a week or so, and text more frequently. Most men I know don't do that with either of their parents. My husband is actually very social and chats with his mom from time to time, and makes arrangements with his family, but most of the men I know (including my brother) do not.[/quote]
I’m give you that. But that’s sill doesn’t answer how this is the DIL fault? [/quote]

I don't think it's the DIL's fault at all. I think it's the son's fault. But the end result is the same: the wife's family ends up getting more access in many cases. I was speaking to why the focus is on the wife - it's because women run their families' social calendars in many cases (because their husbands don't bother) and are closer to their own families than to their husbands' families. It is what it is. [/quote]

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