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[quote=Anonymous]OP, a lot of times a narcissistic mother will favor one child and ignore the other. The one who's ignored (or even picked on) is the one she can't control, the one who is stronger and more independent.

And of course, this feeds on itself. She does too much for your sister and focuses on her, which weakens your sister and binds her to her.

While in some ways it seems your sister has reaped the benefits, it's hurt her too. It weakened her. Deep down, she knows it's wrong and she probably feels weird and guilty that you're not treated the same. And she feels she owes your mom, and that she has to uphold the narrative of your mom as so loving and helpful. So your mom gets to keep controlling and feeding off of her.

My mom was like this with my brother being the golden child she couldn't do enough for, and me being pushed out and negated. And it carried on. He's since died, and now she lavishes that favoritism on his grown kids, and doesn't even consider me part of her immediate family.

I did a lot of work understanding her NPD over the years, and accepting that I really have no mother, never did, never will. The sooner you grieve and accept, and realize she can't change, the sooner you move forward.

Don't let it come between you and your sister. Part of what feeds your mom is probably creating a distance between you two. Your sister didn't ask for this mother, any more than you did.[/quote]

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