Reply to Upset that sister has been given family home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]My aunt left everything to her husband. So it was my uncle's house[/b] - and he signed it over to my sister. I get that he wants her to live there and take care of the house (and him). I am not upset at him really for this as I get it. I just wish my sister had shared the process with my brother and me.

My father passed away 25 years ago. My mother lives in the same state as my sister and brother and has remained very close to my dad's family - she and my aunt were like sisters. My mom has chosen to stay out of it in terms of talking with me about it. She has been aware of all that has been going on - and did not share with me because if anyone asks her to not talk about something she won't. I have expressed my anger and frustration to her and asked why she didn't advocate for my brother and I - and she said it wasn't her place. [/quote]

This is what it boils down to. It was not ever going to be your house. Just because you remember it as your grandparents home does not mean it is now. It became your uncle's home when your aunt died and she willed it to him.

I think if you're honest with yourself you will probably admit that her "discussing" this with you would not have gone well, as she basically would have been saying "hey--so just FYI, I'm going to move into Uncle Larlo's house and take care of him and Uncle Larlo is going to sign the house over to me. Cool?" and you would've said "ummm...no...not cool" and she would have shrugged and said, "okay well that's still what's going to happen, so..." (It would NOT have led to her saying "oh, you're right...I'll ask him if he can just sell the house, move into a retirement village and let the three of us split the profit from the sale!")
I mean, really. On what planet does it make sense for her to say "Uncle Larlo, I talked to brother and sister and we all think it would just be better if you go to a home and leave us the house to sell off and split three ways between us." ??

This way she just tells you after the fact and it's already a done deal that you just need to take a deep breath and move past. It was never going to go a different way.[/quote]

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