Reply to How do I manage MIL expectations of kids visiting her alone?

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes it would be too helicopter-ish to stay within driving distance of your MIL's house.  Either agree to trust her with a visit or don't, but don't do that!

A (nonstop) flight for a 12 year old would be perfectly fine IMO and a great growth experience for your kid.  I did it starting at age 11 to visit my grandparents, and it was such a fun experience.  However, I was very close to my grandparents and there were years of built up trust in that relationship for both me and my parents.

The problem here is that you don't have that trust!  I would encourage you to ask MIL to take the kids for the day on your turf, or do an overnight near your house so you and your husband can get away.  If she isn't willing to do that, then I don't see how you get to the place where you can do summer visits unfortunately.

Say "It's just hard to think that far in the future, I'm not sure how I would feel about that down the line."  I don't think you should suggest you would be comfortable at older ages when you very well may never get to that point - because it's not just about their ages, it's about your trust in her to care for them - it's false hope for her.[/quote]

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