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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just don't get the hate on here.  My Indian ILs are wonderful and kind.  My MIL cooks and tries to clean for us when they visit, even though she is 70!  My FIL helps DH with handiwork around the house (like hanging shelves, mounting TV, etc.).  They are also extremely generous with money -- they "loaned" us money for a downpayment and put a couple thousand into the kids' college funds every year.  MIL stayed with us for a month after each child was born and treated me like a princess (she wouldn't let me lift a finger!  that's how they treat postpartum women in her culture).  I have other friends with Indian ILs too (men and women) and none of them have had the crazy experiences you all talk about.  I think DCUM just brings out the crazy neurotic WASPy types.[/quote]

Nothing to do with wasps. I'm a wasp and I don't see why we would have bad relationships with in-laws by virtues of being wasps, so perhaps you're guilty of your own racial stereotyping you're alleging in others?

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LOL As an outside observer I can assure you: This has everything to do with WASPs. WASP is a subculture perfectly depicted by DCUM in all its glory. Whenever I'm asked about (presumably white middle class) Americans, I invite people to read DCUM to get the gist of the mainstream culture.

I frequent immigrant message boards, and it's a distinctly different crowd. I haven't found any similar outlets for blacks or Hispanics, but I'd be very interested in reading them!

The bottom line is your cultural heritage dictates you to break off from extended family and have as little to do with them as humanly possible. It's WASP, all right :-)[/quote]

Your understanding of it is primitive at best. Yes, you go on your own as an individual to make something of yourself. You're respected as an adult once you reach that stage, and your responsibilities and privileges are in line with that. [b]You don't suck out your parents resources and in return they are not attached to you at the hip at all stages of your life guilting you into stuff you don't like or want. Yes, it's different from a communal model of life where there are fewer boundaries between people, an individual is valued lower than the societ[/b]y or family as a whole and traditions or positions of power are antiquated (e.g. DIL is treated like a servant by husband's family or everybody is up in your business and giving you directions on how to live and raise your children).  [/quote]

The bolded is hilarious.

Sucking parents' resources? I am so sorry that you feel like you were sucking from your parents if you took anything from them after reaching adulthood. Perhaps you should seek some therapy.

Family does not guilt other into stuff they do not want to do. Family shares their opinion and feelings, and you choose what to take and what to leave. Guess what? Sharing your opinions with your loved ones instead of bottling it up inside is very therapeutic. Try it. It could save you some money.

My DH is WASP, and his family is very close. They depend on each other and take care of each other into old age, even relatives who did not have children. So I disagree with PP that it is a WASP thing.

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