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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]We've had fights maybe 4 or 5 times in our 8 year relationship. And our fights look like us getting a little bit of an attitude with each other, then telling each other why we're mad (in a pretty irritated tone), and then taking anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour trying to come to a resolution. I can think of maybe 1 disagreement in 8 years where the bad feelings lasted overnight. [/b]

My husband is super laid back and I'm super direct.

We went through pre-marital counseling and specifically learned techniques for how to disagree in a healthy way (the most irritating one is minor physical touch during a disagreement, like sitting next to each other on thr couch - maddening but it totally works  - read John Gottmans research).

Our lives are pretty easy and not a lot to fight about - money is comfortable, families are under control, sex life is where we both want it.

I find it more odd when couples fight a lot. Like... why? [/quote]

This is pretty close to me and my DH. We hate fighting. We don't internalize or seethe but we don't fight. If one or the other of us gets snappy we'll immediately be like, 'hey what's with the snap?' or something to start to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

Sometimes we have had disagreements or issues get pretty intense, but its always coming from a place where we want to resolve and feel better, so no pot shots or yelling.

Also don't understand people who like to fight, it fills me with anxiety and stress from watching my parents so I cut it off as quickly as possible. [/quote]

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