Reply to What steps can be taken to prevent future problems in a happy marriage.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One word: communication. [/quote]

One other word: sex[/quote]

Exactly, these two are synonymous.[/quote]

Disagree. NOT TONITE is a communication which is the opposite of sex.[/quote]

You see, that’s just poor communication. Communication is:”Not tonight, I’m sorry but am really drained and am not feeling my best. Tomorrow?”

Not hard. [/quote]

Poor communication is a form of communication. So, you should communicate to young couples that they not only need to communicate, they need to do so clearly. (I tend to dislike the term "communication" in these contexts since the term so often seems to be carrying unstated implications about understanding what your spouse is saying verbally and nonverbally and responding to him or her about your wants and needs in a way that is sensitive to your spouse. Not that these things are bad -- but having the word "communicate" carry these unstated expectations seems like a metaphor for "communication" in a marriage generally.)

Also, "communication" about sex is also, "Not tonight, I have stopped liking sex, and I'm not exactly sure why. I will waiver between thinking it's something that's changed with me and some failing on your part, but mostly I'll try not to think about it at all. When you bring it up again, it will remind me that I shouldn't have been ignoring the issue and that will make me feel bad about myself which will, in turn, make me feel unsexy and resentful of you. So, most likely we'll have sex once a month because that's the longest we can go before I have to admit we have a major problem on our hands." [/quote]

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