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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you kind moms for the perspectives. Yes, this is bullying, as I was able to observe on text messages and snapchat. It is the reason I have removed snapchat from DD's phone, even though she's perfectly capable of removing regular messages as well. Still, she does not, perhaps to invite the discussion.

I define bullying by actively organizing to remove this kid from their group, advocating with new members of the group to avoid her, checking in with my child to make sure she does avoid her, using expletives whenever this girl's name is mentioned. I am not sure what they do to her in person, at school.

Removing my child from this group is tough, because they are in the same class at school, so they see each other every day. Things can also turn against my kid (as they had, in the past), and she would not be able to handle that outcome nearly as gracefully as her friend has. This is the one "fun" class DD has in 7th grade, which explains their influence. I talked to the friend's mom and the effects on her kid are profound.

So inviting everyone to great big party seems to be out of the question -- the nastiness is too advanced for that to happen. I also do not want to reward bad behavior by proceeding with the party as planned, without this kid. I'll have a chat with DD and figure out alternative options, as many have pointed out. I have also reached out to the school at this point, because we will need their support in addressing the issue, at least help separating the parties involved and support the girl who is getting bullied.

Thank you again for the sane perspective.[/quote]

I am the parent who posted earlier about the 6th grade son who was bullied and who now speaks up.

Good for you on the outside for speaking to the school on behalf of the other girl.

We have done that before when my son noticed bullying of other students that he felt had grown too big to handle, and I will tell you that the school is very quick and receptive when the information is coming from an outside impartial observer than they usually are when it is the parent of the bullied child.

In both cases where we spoke to the school about someone else (along with specific examples) the reaction from the school was immediate. They made instant, same day changes that were an improvement and they were on top of those bullies like glue.

This was contrasted to the reaction we got as parents reporting bullying of our own kid. They responded quickly, but there was more of "let's observed the dynamics" and "how about a friend group" type responses.

If more parents on the outside would step in and say something when they see a group of kids bullying another, I do think that bullying would be less.[/quote]

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