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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, I hope not.  Sounds like you’re just fine and not wallowing in it or using it as an excuse.

I grew up in a not-typical family and there were aspects of it that when I share appall some people.  My brother and I have very much the same feelings towards it, eh, that was just how it was and it made us who we are today.  I’ve known people (including my DH at times) who can’t leave it behind and want to moan and whine about it 1,000 years later.  I guess in some eyes, that’s healthier.

I did once try therapy, to deal with something else, and the therapist wanted to keep coming back to my parents.  I think like you, because I was matter of fact about it, she felt I’d never “dealt with it”.  But I didn’t feel I’d given her any indication it was an issue, it was just mentioned when she asked about my parents and my childhood.  The same as “and oh yeah, I have blue eyes.”

I haven’t been through the adoption process and don’t have anyone close to me, so I can’t gice any insight on that aspect.  But I do hope it doesn’t count against you and you soon have the child meant for you.  Best wishes![/quote]

OP here. I had a similar experience with therapy. About 10 years ago I was at a crossroads and I wanted to talk to someone unbiased to get their perspective. The therapist told me the first session is more about getting to know me. She asked me questions about my family and childhood. It was like she was curious / found it interesting (especially the cult parts).  I saw her 3 times and we were still just talking about my childhood. I became very frustrated as I was paying out of pocket and I was paying her $150 an hour to tell her stories about my life that were unrelated to why I was there. I told her that part way through the 3rd session and then she told me to set goals and think what decision would get me to my goals. I never went back, it was such a waste of money and she had come well recommended. I ave no interest in trying to pick at my childhood in therapy. I can compartmentalize well, I recognize what wasn't healthy and am a functional adult.

[b]The case workers perspective was that if you don't address it, it can be triggered by something in your own child / parenting and then you have to deal with it when it is more of a crisis.[/b] I didn't say much to the case worker and will watch what I say moving forward. [/quote]
The case worker is right. I'm assuming since you are going through this process you don't already have children, correct? You don't know how it will affect you or how you may become triggered. [/quote]

I'm the poster who said I also had a non-typical upraising with some things people find appalling, and even though I haven't picked at my childhood in therapy, like OP said above, we both recognize what wasn't healthy. My oldest DC is 15 and I have yet to be "triggered" by something from my own childhood, if anything I've learned from my parents' example what *not* to do.  My kids are happy, well-adjusted, doing well in school and activities.

Many of us with childhoods like ours are strong and resilient and we don't have PTSD.  I hope OP's caseworker can recognize that.  I understand a caseworker has to carefully vet potential parents, but I hope amateur psychology is kept to a minimum.[/quote]
Except you recognize your childhood had issues. OP says hers was great and only acknowledges that some parts of it might be off when called on it. That's the difference between the two of you.[/quote]

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