Reply to When would you/did you confront SO about cheating? The aftermath if you’re wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP.  How much is 100%?  I just don’t know if I can wait for months to slowly amass info.  If I have the weird text, find condoms & see a weird number.  Is that enough?

SO still & consistently since we met, talks about a big trip we’ll take in a few years when the kids are old enough, and our retirement (decades away but has always been our fav topic)

F.  I can’t believe it.... but I think it’s time I do. [/quote]

Sorry.  :(

The weird number repeatedly is a good indication, not just a few times.  The weird number at days and times when he told you he was doing specific that doesn't jive with being able to text constantly.  Like does he tell you that he's too busy to talk during the day at work but his phone bill shows he can text someone (not a co-worker) 100 times a day while working?

But I'm also a digger.  If I saw a weird number I wouldn't settle just knowing that.  I'd found out who it belongs to, then how my SO would know that person and so forth.   But I'm the type who HAS to know all the details or I will think about it constantly.  That's not exactly super healthy on my part either.

Condoms seem like a definite indicator if you don't use them in your relationship but my cheating SO would find a way to explain those away too. Like oh Bobby down the street was embarrassed to buy them and asked me to help him.   It's a gag gift for Tom at work.  I read a great article about how condoms can be used for XYZ and wanted to try!  I know BC can be less effective when you're on X medication so I bought them the last time you were sick and forgot about them.  I could go on for days...  this will sound psycho, but count the condoms.

I think the issue of evidence depends a lot on the type of person you are.  Do the details matter in terms of your choice to stay with him, or is any infidelity a deal breaker for you? Will it torment you more to know more or are you more at peace staying uninformed of the specifics? 
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