Reply to Has anyone's marriage successfully overcome domestic violence?

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Reply to "Has anyone's marriage successfully overcome domestic violence?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it depends what you define as success.

I have a close family member in an abusive relationship, and the problem is that it waxes and wanes.  So there will be an incident.  It will seem like they *finally* address the issues.  And they will go years with calm.  But then the next incident, which seemingly comes out of the blue, will be 10 times worse than the last one.

That is the biggest issue, in my view, with domestic violence.  It's a lot like addiction.  A person can "be on the wagon" for years and then relapse, and the relapse is always really, really bad.

I have another relative who says he has overcome his anger issues, and it seems he has, but he had two heart attacks and was put on beta blockers.  I think the beta blockers are really what has enabled him to diffuse his temper.

I sincerely believe that people with anger issues that can escalate to violence need medication to really get it under control.  They can usually behave just long enough to keep their spouse from leaving them, but unless they're on meds, they always relapse, especially if something stressful happens.

I wish you luck, and I hope my post helps.  My first example is someone close enough to me that it affected me for years, until I basically had to shut both of them out of my life.  That is the other danger of staying in an abusive relationship.  It starts to affect people close to you, and if they see that you are unwilling to leave but expect them to deal with the abuse as well, eventually they will distance themselves from you. [/quote]

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