Reply to How to not care (smth like 180) with young kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know he is “pretending to work”?[/quote]

You mean versus actually working?  He is probably doing some work at the office, just not that much, e.g., 2 out of 10 hours.  He has a home office and does the same thing, i.e., says he needs to work, closes his door and 9/10 times I walk in, he's reading some blog or news.  His workload got lighter since before DD was born, yet he used to never go into the office on the weekends (maybe three times a year) whereas now he goes almost every weekend.  When he's actually really busy, he's stressed out and acts a certain way and 95% of the time he goes to the office, he is not like this.  I used to work in the same industry/position as him and understand his work and flow very well.[/quote]

Fine. So he doesn't want to hang out with a child 24/7 on the weekends. Is that a crime? You don't either. Hire a good babysitter, disappear at the appointed times and commit to family togetherness at other times.[/quote]

Basically, he doesn't want to do any of the parenting.  That's not a crime, but it is a cause for disappointment and some serious thought by OP about why she is filling in for his lack of parenting.  Basically, she should feel free to outsource the 50% he is not doing and pay for it with family funds.  She ought to get back to work ASAP and line up what ever kind of daycare she needs.

Doing the 180/learning not to care means putting your own interests first and not caring what DH thinks. After all, this is what DH is already doing to OP. [/quote]

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