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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
That everything can be sorted out if you're dealing with rational people.

That nothing you do will ever be enough if you're dealing with crazy people.

The trick is knowing which ones are which, so you know whether to invest effort in to the relationship or not.

In my case, my ILs were rational, and my mother is crazy.[/quote]

This. My mother is crazy, too. And my in-laws are rational, despite having political views that drive me nuts.
Rule number 1: we don't talk religion or politics. When those topics come up, I find a reason to exit the conversation. They've gotten the message.
Contrary to what others have said, I regret leaving the communications, gift giving, etc. to my husband in the early years. He did a poor job of it, and I didn't get comfortable communicating with them until we were married many years. 
My husband, otoh, is a trooper when dealing with my mother...and me, after we've spent a few days with her. He knows I need a soft place to land, and he provides it.[/quote]

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