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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Give it time.

Care less // lower expectations for the kind of relationship you will have. Aim for cordial, beyond that is bonus.

DH is in charge of communication, scheduling, and gifts with his parents and siblings.[/quote]

This plus "cheerful and oblivious" is how I cope.  Married 8 years, together 13.

What used to trip me up in the beginning was that I would get offended that they didn't KNOW me and weren't even trying to get to know me.  This is vastly different from how my side of the family operates.  So I'd try to help them get to know me and HOLY SHIT that would backfire.  I'd end up with hurt feelings etc.  So I stopped and just accepted that they are who they are.  Things got better.

The other thing that helped was having kids.  My MIL in particular used to focus so much on what DH and I were doing wrong etc.  After having kids, we were too busy to care so much what she thought, and she was so delighted by the kids that she forgot to be such a B all the time.  She still has her moments (these tendencies don't go away) but seeing how much she really does love my children has helped our relationship.[/quote]

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