Reply to Does your DH try to please his parents too much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband used to, but he’s come to realize that his dad is a narcissist so he really doesn’t get caught up in FIL’s crap any more. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for the recent educated responses and experiences.  NPD is definitely at play here (along with triangulation and a myriad of other dysfunction).  The family needs someone to hate on.  Period. It is as sad as it sounds, especially because DH keeps doing and doing for them, and it is all the same hate - of course, always toward DH.  It is hurtful, wrong and debilitating.  I swear they are jealous of him, but he wants to please them - he doesn't understand what a healthy family looks like. [/quote]

PP you quoted—FIL seems to be getting worse with age, too. Just turned 80 and lives in his own reality where he is some sort of wise patriarch DH should listen to on everything and so what if he’s gotten himself into 20K in credit card debt and refuses to sell a house he and his wife (who is in mental and physical decline and needs to be in assisted living) can’t afford. We keep helping and there’s no gratitude. [/quote]

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