Reply to Do I owe you an apology if I told you the truth and it subsequently hurt your feeelings?

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Reply to "Do I owe you an apology if I told you the truth and it subsequently hurt your feeelings?"

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[quote=Anonymous]1) Who gives a crap if your sister is  virgin, has social anxiety, or anything similar? You’re making a lot of assumptions about her (i.e., “as far as you know”), for no reason. These things about her aren’t hurting anyone. They don’t need “confronting.” You owe her a royal apology for being so judgmental.

2) You said: "and will typically deflect her inadequacies back on to you” - this seems to be exactly what you are doing. You are angry at the predicament you are in (which is not your sister’s fault), and taking out your anxieties on her. You are projecting yourself onto her. Stop doing that. You are also the one doing the gas lighting with your “confronting” - stop doing that.

3) As for being left with burdens after your mom died, that’s your choice. It’s not your sister’s fault your dad is aging. It’s not your sister’s fault your mom died. It’s not your sister’s fault that your other sibling is schizophrenic. Those are the circumstances in life, but it’s not her obligation to step in. You make it your own choice to be with your dad and take him on - stop blaming your sister for your own choices.

I feel so sorry for your sister. You sound like you have a lot of issues of your own - which is ok, we all have them. But you’re using your sister as a distraction from looking in the mirror at yourself. You’re blaming her for an awful lot that is completely unfair.

Get some therapy for yourself and leave your poor sister alone.
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