Reply to Wife is about to leave me, don’t know what to do

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[quote=Anonymous]Speaking as someone that was cheated on by his wife. It takes a long time to get over it. Years. I don't think you know what you signed up for OP. We had two young kids at the time. I was too busy at work and she got wooed by some deadbeat. She had a two month affair and I found out. She cried and cried, and I left the house for two months. My kids were 2 and 4 at the time. It was hard. She would call me every day, beg for my forgiveness. 
I loved her a lot. She was the only one for me and we ended up slowly getting back together. I didn't trust her for at least two years. We had some sex afterwards, but it felt forced.

We then completely stopped for a long time. I would masturbate occasionally because you pretty much have to. But I couldn't touch her. Every time I did, i thought about what she did. She knew it too. I would freeze, my Penis would go limp almost immediately. It took us almost 5 years to go back to semi-normal.

I was angry, embarrassed, humiliated, and couldn't even think straight at times. Even after things were going well for months, days would go by where my anger would resurface and i'd get cold to her. I would try to shake it off.

Writing about it, and giving advice sometimes can help. OP, i feel with you. IT's easier to watch porn or a cam girl than to relive the pain of finding out about the infidelity. It suddenly takes you back years in a matter of seconds. It's as if you're re-living the minute you find out.

People wonder why we stay. I stayed for the kids. For her, because i loved her, and i know she loved me. Because the good times outweighed the bad times. But its a ton of work. Good luck. Kick the habit. It's time for you to show her what this relationship means to you. [/quote]

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