Anonymous wrote:Troll. This reeks of troll.

I agree. Like a teenage troll. I'm sure Jeff will put a stop to this.

So what are you going to OP. You need to something to show her that you love her and are willing to undergo some fundamental changes. I honestly don't think its too late.

Did she tell you to leave to grab some space, or is she know completely done with you? It's really sad to hear that you've developed this ugly habit, but I don't see it as akin to cheating. It's dumb and it certainly stings her.

I'm curious to see how this plays out. Sounds like you guys have a tumultuous relationship.

You don't sound as if you have enough self-control, OP.

This might be for the best.

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the guy that doesn’t think it’s too serious. It really is like going to a strip club (with much worse looking girls). They can’t even see you. It’s purely a monetary transactions. Most women are ok with their men going to a strip club before the wedding, but suddenly cam girls are considered cheating. She actually cheated on him with another dude. She knew his name I assume. I would even assume he knew she was married.
OP, stop going to cam sites because it’s a waste of money, but I definitely don’t equate it to cheating. Not even close. Cheating is usually about building an emotional connection with someone else.
Get off your high horses. I’ve seen more “cheating” in office relationships in which people become confidantes

+1. And yeah, don't pay for porn, total waste of money because there's tons of free shit out there.

Speaking as someone that was cheated on by his wife. It takes a long time to get over it. Years. I don't think you know what you signed up for OP. We had two young kids at the time. I was too busy at work and she got wooed by some deadbeat. She had a two month affair and I found out. She cried and cried, and I left the house for two months. My kids were 2 and 4 at the time. It was hard. She would call me every day, beg for my forgiveness.
I loved her a lot. She was the only one for me and we ended up slowly getting back together. I didn't trust her for at least two years. We had some sex afterwards, but it felt forced.

We then completely stopped for a long time. I would masturbate occasionally because you pretty much have to. But I couldn't touch her. Every time I did, i thought about what she did. She knew it too. I would freeze, my Penis would go limp almost immediately. It took us almost 5 years to go back to semi-normal.

I was angry, embarrassed, humiliated, and couldn't even think straight at times. Even after things were going well for months, days would go by where my anger would resurface and i'd get cold to her. I would try to shake it off.

Writing about it, and giving advice sometimes can help. OP, i feel with you. IT's easier to watch porn or a cam girl than to relive the pain of finding out about the infidelity. It suddenly takes you back years in a matter of seconds. It's as if you're re-living the minute you find out.

People wonder why we stay. I stayed for the kids. For her, because i loved her, and i know she loved me. Because the good times outweighed the bad times. But its a ton of work. Good luck. Kick the habit. It's time for you to show her what this relationship means to you.

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the guy that doesn’t think it’s too serious. It really is like going to a strip club (with much worse looking girls). They can’t even see you. It’s purely a monetary transactions. Most women are ok with their men going to a strip club before the wedding, but suddenly cam girls are considered cheating. She actually cheated on him with another dude. She knew his name I assume. I would even assume he knew she was married.
OP, stop going to cam sites because it’s a waste of money, but I definitely don’t equate it to cheating. Not even close. Cheating is usually about building an emotional connection with someone else.
Get off your high horses. I’ve seen more “cheating” in office relationships in which people become confidantes

Pretty big difference between "going to the strip club before the wedding" and "husband who hasn't had sex with me in years lying about his cam girl habit."

Was she wrong to cheat? Of course. And he could have left, no question. But staying, punishing her (by his own admission) by cutting off sex, starting a cam girl habit, lying about quitting, and going back to it -- this isn't a visit to a strip club in an otherwise healthy relationship. Maybe his confidence was so shaken by her cheating that he can't get it up with someone in the flesh anymore? But either way this marriage has been over for a while and he needs a healthier way to cope with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the guy that doesn’t think it’s too serious. It really is like going to a strip club (with much worse looking girls). They can’t even see you. It’s purely a monetary transactions. Most women are ok with their men going to a strip club before the wedding, but suddenly cam girls are considered cheating. She actually cheated on him with another dude. She knew his name I assume. I would even assume he knew she was married.
OP, stop going to cam sites because it’s a waste of money, but I definitely don’t equate it to cheating. Not even close. Cheating is usually about building an emotional connection with someone else.
Get off your high horses. I’ve seen more “cheating” in office relationships in which people become confidantes

Not every woman is ok with her man going to a strip club in any circumstance. Cam girl porn is not ok, either. I hate when women -of all people!- try to normalize that type of shit.

I'm with you. Especially after she made it clear with him that he should stop doing that. I don't think the OP is a bad guy. ACtually, i was surprised that he forgave her for her indiscretions. But it sounds like a complicated relationship. It sounds like you do truly love her, but are still angry at her for cheating. Perhaps you justify the cam girl stuff with what she did. You compare and contrast and end up thinking that what you're doing is not nearly as bad. But I assume you now trust her and love her and believe she wants to be with you, so why continue hurting her.
I wish you luck, but I am not sure you guys should continue this relationship. I don't think you have kids either, she seems too willing to dump you. If you did have kids, cam girls may not be enough to end a marriage.

Anonymous wrote:I’m with the guy that doesn’t think it’s too serious. It really is like going to a strip club (with much worse looking girls). They can’t even see you. It’s purely a monetary transactions. Most women are ok with their men going to a strip club before the wedding, but suddenly cam girls are considered cheating. She actually cheated on him with another dude. She knew his name I assume. I would even assume he knew she was married.
OP, stop going to cam sites because it’s a waste of money, but I definitely don’t equate it to cheating. Not even close. Cheating is usually about building an emotional connection with someone else.
Get off your high horses. I’ve seen more “cheating” in office relationships in which people become confidantes

Not every woman is ok with her man going to a strip club in any circumstance. Cam girl porn is not ok, either. I hate when women -of all people!- try to normalize that type of shit.

I’m with the guy that doesn’t think it’s too serious. It really is like going to a strip club (with much worse looking girls). They can’t even see you. It’s purely a monetary transactions. Most women are ok with their men going to a strip club before the wedding, but suddenly cam girls are considered cheating. She actually cheated on him with another dude. She knew his name I assume. I would even assume he knew she was married.
OP, stop going to cam sites because it’s a waste of money, but I definitely don’t equate it to cheating. Not even close. Cheating is usually about building an emotional connection with someone else.
Get off your high horses. I’ve seen more “cheating” in office relationships in which people become confidantes

OP, you didn't care enough to stop doing what she asked you to do. And what she's asking is not unreasonable.

You need to care enough. If not, consider it a blessing in disguise and can now have all the camgirls you want.

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to remain married?

Just from the title, I’d assume he does want to remain married. It sounds like she’s done with you though. I mean she already cheated on you once. Why would she work hard to stay with a person that’s lying to her

Do you want to remain married?

Good luck OP.
Hate to see long relationships end. Try your best to convince her you’ll change. You must really love her.

Is everyone on here serious. OP, you may want to quit th cam girl stuff and start banging your wife...but I don’t think you’re cheating or anything. It’s a bad habit, but this isn’t anemotional relationship. I think people on here are taking this too far. The only wrong thing in your relationship was not dumpin her for cheating on you and then lying about it. How long was the affair. You’re a better man than me. Would have left her right away.
A friend of mine was cheated on by his long time gf. He found out from her friend. He knew something was up, but he was devasted afterwards. Destroyed his world. I hated her for doing this to him. It has an ugly affect, so if op was distant following the affair, it’s completely understandable.
I think you should walk man. I know it’s tough, but she can’t be all high and mighty because you pay some chick online whose name you don’t know a few bucks for a sexual act. She cheated on you and hid it from you.

Anonymous wrote:Don't think I could look my DH in the eye ever again if he paid some woman to humiliate herself. What is wrong with you???

Are you married to a priest. This is like going to a strip club. Probably better for the women since they can’t be touched