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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve tried. I wanted to move our laundry up to the bedroom level. Gave up on that and have just been trying for new machines. Wanted to redo the kitchen to change the layout, gave up on that and just tried for new counters/backsplash. Gave up on refinishing the hardwoods. We have 26 year old bathrooms,etc. I’m not asking to do all or even most just feel like we should start somewhere. But it’s truly a non-starter with him. Or he’ll just yell in anger “fine, do whatever you want!” but really who is going to move forward with that kind of endorsement?[/quote]

Eventually, I just called a contractor and said we are meeting with contractor, and we hired him, and we did the work I wanted to do. I paid for it from my savings, I financed what I couldn't pay for, and I paid that off. A lot of times I have a non-starter as well ... I don't think we'll ever get the other things I want I unless I take the same tactic again. DH did have to do a lot of research and decision making with me, but it was happening. But it took me YEARS to get to that point to realize that DH would always have an excuse why NOT to do something. And it wasn't about him being frugal. It was about not wanting change, and thinking what we had was good enough (it wasn't). Getting to the point where you can do something without buy-in is difficult.

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