Reply to What would you do? 20 yo almost 21 yo cousin wants to live with us?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are a good person for considering this, OP. I don’t think I would say yes given the history here, but if you do, I think you should agree on a trial basis and set some ground rules with a one-strike policy. You can be gentle but firm about this; your kids need stability and should not be exposed to adults doing dangerous and inappropriate things in your home.

- No controlled substances in the house and he needs to continue going to AA/support meetings.
- He pays rent (I would set a below-market amount and, if you don’t need the money, put it aside in a separate account to give back to him when he moves out) and helps with household chores — give him one or two things that he’s responsible for doing every week (making sure all trash is on the curb on trash day, etc.)

I would also set aside some time, if you can, to help him make a longer-term plan: getting a GED (if he isn’t a HS graduate), taking community college or vocational classes, helping him budget so he can eventually be self-sufficient, etc. Hopefully if he starts doing these things, he’ll be able to get on his feet and this won’t be an open-ended arrangement that goes on for a long time.[/quote]

I think I would go this route. It doesn't sound like he's dangerous, yes he made some bad choices, but this also sounds like a young person with a lot of pain who hasn't had a lot of support. This is a lot different than a spoiled  and entitled kid demanding to come home after flunking out of college from partying too much. I think family support and having a family environment could be  great thing for him.[/quote]

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