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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is also in 5th grade and sometimes the social complications between friends group can get out of control.

Really you cannot change another person's behavior, but you can change your reactions to it. This is true for 5th graders and for full grown women.

You can decide not to be offended, you can decide not to dwell. Its very hard but its entirely do-able, it just takes practice and more interesting diversions. Good luck.[/quote]

PP makes a good point.  Your DD needs to get to the point where she can dismiss the nastiness as "frenamy's drama" and move right along with nothing more than an eye roll.  You might also suggest she talk to the guidance counselor as they are experts at this stuff.[/quote]

OP here, yes, of course, I wish this were easy.  Some find this harder than others (I’m convinced we are hardwired.). Advice on how to coach this?!?[/quote]

I am last pp above, saying it will resolve fast enough. My DD is what you would call social butterfly. Yes, expect more drama. What she does is she lets it roll off her. She forgives people pretty fast too. I don't have this skill like she does. One thing I do notice is that my DD(now 16, but was like this for a long time) has ton of "friends" and no enemies. She doesn't hold a grudge. I've tried a few times to tell her to see why kid is mean, and often it is some issue in the family, something to feel defensive about. Example, one "mean" girl had a Dad that was an alcoholic and even DD heard him lashing out. I don't know if this helps, but it works for my DD. Just last week, she heard about few girls gossiping about her, and I was more upset about it than her. She has a healthier way of approaching these things, just doesn't care and keeps on smiling. I guess my DD is confident and doesn't let it bother her? plus she has made a huge circle of kids her friends, and has done this since 3 years old.[/quote]

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