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[quote=Anonymous]A big hug to you!

I can totally appreciate that this is a very sad time, and unexpected too. First, think back on any tough time in your life and what has comforted you, truly, deep down (not in the Ben and Jerry's sense of comfort)? You want to honor that you need to take care of yourself right now to help recover from a blow of missing what might have been, of missing him, of missing being together.

Some things that helped me when I was going through a divorce: I went walking a lot with my iPod on my favorite music of my youth. You can go walking at the mall or at a gym if it's too cold outside. I had some friends who made me laugh, I'd email with them and have coffee dates with them. I escaped a lot into junky fun mystery novels. I had a journal and made myself write down all the great things that happened to me: I found a beautiful leaf, I heard a song I loved, I read a great Janet Evanovich novel...

Second, you want to find a way to create closure (not dramatic crazy Spanish soap opera) but closure for yourself because he just disappeared rather than formally breaking up with you. You could write him a letter (don't send it) to tell him goodbye and then burn in a fireplace, as a farewell to him. You could mock write out his eulogy as if he died. You could give away his things to goodwill. Etc. In other words, find a way to resolve that bad feeling of not ending things with him and that keeps you wishing he'd come back.

Whenever I  miss my mother I eat a small piece of chocolate. She loved chocolate. It reminds me of how much I love her. In my case this case helps me honor her and makes me feel better. I get that he's not dead, but I'm suggesting you find a way to greive and then move on.[/quote]

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