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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone with kids in high school, I assure you that the "hard part" is not over.  Sure, you're not wiping asses anymore, but the problems are different.

I'd write out all that you do (like take last week, and write out each thing you did for the family) and hand it to her and say "This is what you'd be taking on if you were the SAH parent. Based on how things went over the summer while you were home and I was traveling I have serious concerns about you being able to manage everything.  What do you think?  Let's be super honest with ourselves here, because our kids are depending on us." [/quote]

Agree with this.

Also, I think it would be completely fair for you to basically make her "put up or shut up"* - if she wants to be more involved, she should start with taking on some of the default parenting you're currently managing BEFORE she goes and quits her job.  Diving headfirst into being a SAHM when she hasn't been able to handle it in the past is a recipe for a repeat disaster.

*I'm sure there is a nicer way to put it but I don't have the energy right now as I'm dealing with a similar situation with my DH right now and I'm all out of empathy for nondefault parents asking the default parent to take on even more work without putting any effort in themselves first.  [/quote]

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