Reply to When did you get over your spouse's affair? Or did you?

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[quote=Anonymous]PP, while I respect the experience you have, you could learn a thing or two about respecting the many people Perel’s work has helped.

She released a book on Tuesday, and I’m almost finished with it. She writes extensively in it about how toxic deception is, and about respecting the experience of the victim spouse. I doubt you’re as familiar with her work as you claim to be.

Perel’s work is for couples that actually have something worth saving. She is not necessarily particularly helpful to women who were cheated on by a “narcissistic pr!ck”, as she calls some cheating men. Perhaps you were married to one of these men. In that case, I can understand why you can’t possibly identify with couples who are better situated to work through a crisis than you were.

Perel’s work is helpful to cheated-on spouses who are capable of self-examination. OP indicated that the marriage was troubled, overall, before the affair. Yes, I’m sure it was easy and felt good for you to run to friends and therapists who will sanctify you and demonize your spouse.[/quote]

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