Reply to Love is Blind, do people really think about how things will be after having kids?

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Reply to "Love is Blind, do people really think about how things will be after having kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents were very acrimoniously divorced. And my stepfather, while a good person, was an alcoholic and an erratic parent.

I thought about it a lot. I don't know where I read it or heard it but one thing that always stuck with me when I was dating is that when you're thinking about whether or not to marry someone, look at their flaws honestly and don't just ask yourself if you can tolerate them, ask yourself if you could watch your children to tolerate them.

My mom didn't ask that question of herself. I made sure I did.

I really disagree that you can't have a decent idea of what to expect. You might not totally understand how much you'll love them, how tired you'll be, how frustrated you'll get, but you will know how you deal with adversity and how the person you marries deals with adversity. How they deal with sleep deprivation...how they deal with sicknesses and gross things and stepping up for family. There are plenty of things to look at to make an educated decision on who to marry.

And I am married with two kids now FWIW to a guy who steps up every day. An excellent dad. [/quote]

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