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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - of course I own the decisions we made, and in reality DH and I have a great partnership. But even though I'm proud of him, I want to have the opportunity to have my own accomplishments, too. I am just as capable!

Part of the issue is that we get much more incremental benefit from investing in DH's career over mine, so the cost-benefit calculation never quite fell in favor of my interests. It is what it is - he is white and male, I am neither, and investing in me is just a much bigger risk because people don't see me as competent in the same way.[/quote]

I know how you feel, OP! I think it's time to set aside efficiency and cost-benefit (I'm 100% that type of person, too) and start assigning more value to your own desires for your career. Just because a job isn't bringing in the same amount of money doesn't mean it should be a smaller number in that equation (assuming finances aren't an issue here). Personal satisfaction should have a bigger multiplier.

Now that you've identified the problem, start taking steps to improve things. Look for a job that excites you, even if it is risky, and go for it. Hubs can sit at his current position for a few years while you settle yourself some place new.[/quote]

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