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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perhaps gently point out that one room for multiple families might not work well for some of the common sense and privacy reasons cited here - and don't worry about the rest but stick with visiting when you're willing and able.[/quote]

This, including the "gently" part, but DH also needs to start clearly managing their expectations as best he can. There could be years of strife ahead if they build this, none of their adult children says a word, and then they get upset that not all the adult kids' families come to them every holiday; meanwhile, you and other in-laws end up resentful if your spouses say, we need to go or they'll be hurt....

Note how I worked in that it's DH and not you who manages communications on this topic? It's truly his role, not yours.

The bunk room sounds fun for kids, but the idea of no vacations with just your own family is too much. Be kind but also be clear. Visit and be positive and complimentary if they build this house but also don't be pressured into going more than you and DH really want.

What does DH say? Is he able to talk with them or us he afraid of rocking the boat? I like the list above as a script for how to address the bunk room issue.[/quote]

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