Reply to I Hate Half Days

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, with all kindness, if she is picking up on your morose, you are making it worse for her. My very personable 10 year old is off today, I'm working at home, and he has been doing chores for me because I don't have time to fool with a play date.[/quote]

NP here. If you haven't had a child who is lonely, etc., then why do you bother answering?  And to accuse the OP of making it worse.

You are like the smug marrieds in Bridget Jones.  [/quote]

I said that IF the child is picking up on OP's attitude (quite possible, if not extremely likely), then yes, that is making it worse.

There is nothing smug about this. I presumed that OP came here for help and thoughts, not just a parrot back to validate her feelings.[/quote]

I think the PP is right and not smug at all. Sometimes we as parents take things too personally, even if it's just the memories of our own exclusions or whatever.
I'm not suggesting OP's DD isn't lonely. Only that that I agree that how she reacts may make it worse for her DD.  Keep her busy: chores, activities, homework.

Also, have you tried to set up play dates for her with other people? Try to find a couple kids she may want to have over. Maybe other kids who share her interests or who also could use a friend? Or friends from outside school?[/quote]

OP here, and I totally agree with this. I am fully conscious of the fact that I take this too personally because it triggers all the old hurts I experienced as a shy, sensitive kid.  I’m in therapy now to try and work through all of this so that I can stop projecting my own feelings on my DD. That being said, she’s almost 13 so I can’t set up play dates for her.  At this age she needs to do that for herself to the point that she’s comfortable.  Another PP asked about activities.  She does do activities: 3 sports plus religious school.  They keep her busy but again, bc she is socially awkward and shy, they don’t translate into friendships outside of the activity.

Again, thanks for all the responses here. It feels better knowing we’re not alone.[/quote]

OP you sound like a great Mom.  How about seeing if your daughter can prepare for half days?  She could ask some other kids the day prior and say she's seeing what everyone's up to.  Or zero in on another shy kid who she could hang at the mall with. If she's socially awkward one on one might be more comfortable.[/quote]

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