Reply to Social media rules-would love to hear from those who don't allow it

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[quote=Anonymous]I wanted to ban it entirely, but my kids were seriously being left out of the social scene.  Sixth graders set up a group text and group instagram chats, and 'anybody who is anybody' were on them.  Kids who weren't on them ended up not getting the invite to informal parties, etc.  I said no to snapchat until my dd hit 9th grade, and then gave in because so much of the social scene had moved there.  And in high school, all of the clubs communicate by one social media or another.  (Interestingly, it seems to be predominately facebook, which my dd had no interest in until that point.)

My two kids are very different-- one much more responsible than the other.  For both, I started out monitoring the phone heavily (with their knowledge).  With one, I never had to intervene on anything.  On the other, it was a very useful learning exercise-- I have brought up issues several times with her and am so pleased that I was monitoring.  In fact, if she'd never had social media, we would have lost some valuable discussions.  A side effect is that she is one who never shares anything with me at home, and this gave me a window into what her social life was like, which was illuminating (though not the main purpose of monitoring).

The older one has pretty much graduated out of my monitoring her phone.  I have told her that I still reserve the right, but I haven't actually looked at it in months.  I will be monitoring the younger one's phone for the foreseeable future.[/quote]

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