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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every 4 or 5 months I feel like my DD and I aren't connected as much as we need to.  I'll take her out for a drink (boba, Starbucks, whatever) and we'll talk.  "What's up with Erin?" "What happened to that boy who was annoying you in math?"  "Are you and Cole still friends?"  These types of questions get her talking.[/quote]

Ugh. That sounds terrible. My mom still asks me this kind of nosy stuff at almost 40 and it makes me not want to share anything. [/quote]

Luckily my daughter and I are close enough that she would tell me if she felt like I was being intrusive rather than interested in her friends.  [/quote]

DP, but I had a mom whose attempts at conversation/bonding were very similar to yours, and at the risk of being too blunt, while you my think your teen would feel comfortable telling you such a thing I highly doubt it's actually the case. Most well-raised teens would know that there is simply no polite way to say such a thing without risking offending the parent (and it certainly sounds like you care enough and are a sufficiently conscientious parent to have taught your child decent manners). The power dynamics in any parent/child relationship are such that it's an incredibly risky idea to actually speak up and try to convey something like that. Would she really? Are you sure? Because my mother remained convinced that we had a "very close" relationship despite the fact that I had a literal countdown until the day I could reasonably cut off contact with her -- which I did as soon as I could except for very occasional small talk on essential holidays in order to keep peace within the family for the sake of my contact with my younger siblings. [/quote]

(PP ignore this person. You know what you + DD's relationship is like. I have a relationship like you describe with my mom)[/quote]

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