Reply to Feedback on letter to my siblings re helping out with elderly mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think your letter is not good.  It is vague and not specific and does not ask for anything.

Also, for the love of god don't use unnecessary quotation marks in the first sentence.  And then your second sentence could be said directly.  you bet around the bush.  And then you try to use guilt (you'll regret not spending time with her).  It's just weak and passive and obviously the sister.

Be direct -

Hi all,  We need to have a sibling talk.  As mom has aged, I've taken on a lot of the tasks associated with helping her.  It's been ok so far, but I need you to know what I'm doing now, and we need to discuss how we can make this equitable moving forward.

1.  Mom's care costs between 1800-2000K.  We've been paying this for X long, but as time goes by and this is becoming permanent, it's only fair that we split this cost.  I know we have more resources right now, so I'm willing to cover half, if you two will cover 25% each.  Can we discuss if this is fair?  Can you contribute, and if so how much?

2.  Mom needs a little more emotional support than we've been giving her.  I visit her twice a year and call every three days.  If we each visited twice a year, we could have someone with her every other month, if we spaced them out.  Can you make this commitment?  Can you call her at least once per week?

3. and then whatever else you want - for example - I take on all discussions with the doctor.  There's also the maintenance on her place, the eye doctor, the foot doctor, the car (Whatever it is).  Cn we divide this in a way that we each have shared responsibility?

If we talk to each other on a regular basis, I'm sure we can stay on top of it.  Let's have a conversation this weekend - I'll set up a three way call.  Thanks, Sister.   [/quote]

Op here. Thanks! Great approach. Usually I write better than this, but I guess it's a hard topic for me.  Appreciate your taking the time to provide a great template. [/quote]

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