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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Scary. I could've written this. Is your husband an only child? 
I was in a similar position. I was and am still closer to my MIL. But I have been hurt because I never set up appropriate boundaries. I also forgot that I was a inlaw. There are times when I'm reminded and it hurts. [/quote]

Op here. No. He has siblings. I've never felt like disrespected by them. [/quote]

Okay. So it's all boys just like my situation. Is your DH the oldest? I just ask that you protect your heart. I've projected my mother issues onto my MIL and she her lack of daughter issues on to me. We have a great relationship but it hasn't been without its issues, especially when other siblings got married and then there were more DIL's. Essentially I got relegated back to the position of "DIL"
As or not make the others upset. It showed me that I needed to protect my heart and make sure I never got my MiL and my mom confused. They are not the same. [/quote]

I have a similar position as the OP and my experience has not been like yours at all and I'm 20 years into my marriage. I feel so lucky MIL had her son (my husband) at age 21, so she is still fairly young amd we have hwr with us for many more years to come.

It sounds like you might have read the realtionship wrong in the first place combined with the fact that your MIL is not a nice person.

I definitely do not confuse my MIL wirh my mom, but what i know for sure is who demonstrates their love in action best.

For OP, id just do the mimimum to placate your mom and have your real shower with your MIL and a pity party with your mom.[/quote]

Pp here. I definitely didn't misread the relationship. I think MIL is a nice person but I don't think she really understood that she was creating in my mind that she looked at me as a daughter. So many examples of how she did this, way too many to illustrated. However, truly when the rubber meets the road I am her DiL. Her husband's wife. I was hurt by this and honestly still am. I have been redefining my relationship with her this past year. Surprisingly enough, I am still close with her but I will never put myself in the position I was once in. I am not the "rain on your parade type" and really hesitated to even post a warning but I figured I would share my story. Very happy to hear that others in similar situations aren't having these issue. [/quote]

I obviously meant that "I definitely do think MIL  understood that she was creating in my mind that I was a daughter to her and not a DIL[/quote]

Again , you don't have a caring or loving MIL, you javr a manipulative one, who are the worst kind to have...totally different and unhealthy for her to reel you in and cast you out. Sad for you because that is awful, but probably not the case for the majority of people who have great relationships with their inlaws. They don't all try to mind fu%k us.[/quote]

Two sides to every store.  In this case, there wasn't even a whole story, just a vague warning.[/quote]

Yes, I gave a very vague warning because I was hesitant to even reply with something negative. I never chime into threads with negativity. This was the exception and thankfully others in similar situations have responded to show that my situation is in the exception and not the rule when dealing with MIL's with no daughters.  I'm happy that is the case.
My MIL isn't perfect but I will be the first to admit that even with all of that she treats me better than my own mom.  Anywho, I completely derailed this thread. Sorry Op. Lets get back on track.,

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