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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, I would disagree that he turned out fine, but that's not your question.

Have you tried couples' counseling?  You don't have to commit to a year or anything, just enough so that he understands your point of view and possibly unearths why he's checked out of his family. [/quote]

Op here, I disagree too about him turning out fine, but it's hard to argue with someone when they stubbornly think that. I will look into it, although he's one of those types that thinks counseling and anything mental health related is "pointless and dumb". [/quote]

UGGGHHH OP, I can relate to all of this.  Especially the part about mental health stuff being dumb.  But as my therapist pointed out, she sees lots of men who only started because their wives made them.  Who cares why he goes?  Get him there.  Once he's there he will realize it's simply a place where you can both talk without the baggage of the other getting defensive.

Your husband actually seems worse than mine with the helplessness, but mine can be mean when he feels criticized, so the situation isn't much better.  I hit a breaking point and had a come to jesus talk to with him.  Then another, then another.  I kept circling back to how I was no longer happy in our house.  It took a while, but I think it finally hit home with him when our 4 year old said something about how "daddy was always mad at him."  I was very clear with him and just kept asking wtf else mattered.  Like, if his wife and child are unhappy, what else matters?  This is it and he's blowing it.  He's nowhere near perfect, but he shaped up after that.

I definitely don't have all the answers, but I can commiserate.

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