Reply to Husband has checked out as a parent

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Reply to "Husband has checked out as a parent"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the missing link here is that he doesn't agree with you about what is required to be a parent.  He thinks he is parenting.  He doesn't agree that your kids need a different kind of parent and yes that's probably because of how he was raised.  You can nag and ask and leave him home with the kids and if he doesn't agree with you, he's going to keep doing it his way.

The first and critical step is seeing if he's going to change his mind on what it means to be a parent.  If he's not going to, then what are you going to do?  I see two choices.  You just accept it and move on or you leave him.  Except in scenario 2, he'll have your kids alone sometimes and parent the way he is currently parenting.
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This is the most realistic response to this.

He hasn't "checked out" - he is parenting how HE was parented.  You have to look at how he was raised, and if he has a problem with it.

And to be honest, if I wanted to go out once a month and came home to find out the kids ate Cheetos...so what?  You control every other meal of the month - no one died from a monthly serving of Cheetos.  When my DH wasn't great at putting our kids to bed, I let him deal with the fallout.  It only took a few times.  So when you come home, and they are still up waiting for you - let him do it.   Figure out what is related to how he was raised (lots of TV, etc) and the learned helplessness (bedtime) and address it accordingly.[/quote]

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