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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Long story short my brother was dating a woman, she got pregnant, they got engaged shortly before the baby was born, he left about a month later, came back 2 months later and then left again for good. He has no contact with this woman or his child. Yes my brother is scum.
Not surprisingly after this all happened the woman pushed all of us away,  my parents were never very nice to her from the start because of her background.

That's the backstory, well  last year around a year ago I tracked this woman down on FB and messaged her "I saw your profile. Hope you and niece are well. Sorry for how my family treated you. Feel free to add me as a friend; I'd love to be more in touch with you." sort of thing.

She didn't respond  for a couple of months, but when she did she thanked me for the kind words, and we exchanged messages frequently after that. Early this year she was in the area, and ask me if I would like to meet my niece and I did that. Since then, we message on social media, text, and call each other.

She's going to be in the area again, and asked if I could watch my niece for a little while why she takes care of things. The problem is the time she needs is when  I am supposed to attend  my brother's wife's shower.

I haven't told my family about being in  contact with his ex. Do I just tell her I'm not available and not explain why? [b]I want to help her out, but there's no way I can skip the shower. I feel terribly that she's left to deal with everything on her own while my SIL  is fawned over.[/b][/quote]

The answer to this is really straightforward OP. You are just overthinking it because of your guilt about the whole situation. You tell her you have an unavoidable commitment and try to help her find another sitter during that time. You don't say why.
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