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[quote=Anonymous]I'd tell her you have a commitment from x-y PM and ask if there is there any chance she can work around that but if not you'd back out of the commitment. You might get lucky and be able to do both. Otherwise, I would probably skip the shower. I know it's not new SIL's fault that your brother has brought baggage into the situation, but this is truly the first helpful thing you all can do for this little girl. Plus it gives you a chance to get to know her (presumably they live out of town) which is very important. I also think you also have to talk to her about being open with your family that you are in touch. I'm guessing if your brother has a new baby on the way, your parents are at their lowest point about accepting the previous child into their lives. But I do think you need to be honest with them that you've met this child and do plan to continue a relationship with her.[/quote]
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