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[quote=pbraverman][quote=Anonymous]Our DD will be starting at a new school this fall and I was wondering do cliques form in Elementary school or that is just a MS thing? Not sure how to handle this since our DD is a shy sweet girl who isn't aggresive in making friends[/quote]

This is a fabulously complex topic, but we can agree on a few things. Excluding people in a mean-spirited way is bad. Welcoming them in kindness is good. And all of it is NORMAL in children. (That doesn't mean it's acceptable. It means it's expectable.)

OP: It sounds like this may be a concern for you rather than just a point of information. I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask teachers and administrators how they confront these issues at their schools. Nobody can eradicate it because it's tied to children's developmental stages; I'd be very wary of anybody who says, "That really doesn't happen at our school." That said, dealing with it thoughtfully can arm children with strong tools for when they grow up and confront some of the same issues throughout their lives. The worst bullying class I ever had in sixth grade turned out to be the closest group of kids I dealt with by they time they reached eighth grade. The reason? The kids decided to do something about it THEMSELVES, and asked the teachers to support them. It turned the entire experience around.

Another true story: A mom once called me to complain about exclusion among fifth-grade girls. Her older kids were at another school, and she told me with absolute certainty that they didn't face these issues at that other school. When we hung up, I called the middle school head of the other school to congratulate her on achieving a 100% meanness-free school. She joined me in a good laugh about it. (Then we hung up and went back to weeping separately.) :)

The teacher's post above is great; read it fully if you haven't.

Peter
_____________________

Disclaimer: The anonymity here makes me uncomfortable; it's easy to be uninformed, personal, or simply mean-spirited if people don't identify themselves. For that reason, I have an account so you know whose words you're reading. I have more than 20 years' experience as a teacher and administrator in independent schools, and I have counseled hundreds of students in finding their next schools. I hope I can be helpful to some folks. If you don't like something I've said, you're in good company — there's a long line of past students and parents ahead of you. :) If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me offline: peter &lt;at&gt; arcpd &lt;dot&gt; com[/quote]

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