Reply to Do cliques form in Elementary school

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[quote=Anonymous]Teacher here--one of the challenges for girls is that girls often reaffirm who is "in" their bonded group by delineating someone who is "out". These are the cliques of lore and reality, with shifting boundaries and hurtful, cruel exclusion that can strike at times in what seems a totally capricious way. 
However, cliques are a part of growing up or we wouldn't be talking about them. A healthful clique is a social circle, hopefully based on genuine interests and affinities without malicious hurtful exclusion. They also are part of children moving towards independence from parents in a safe way (within a group) where they can try new things with the protection of their friends' encouragement. Your child will hopefully find this comfortable and supportive circle of friends, which is not to say that you should not encourage activity friends, neighborhood friends, and diversification and cross sections of friends when possible.  
The number one thing I have seen that parents can do to combat cliques that veer into negative exclusivity is to take off the blinders that their kids are not 'mean girls' or they themselves are not 'mean'. The kids go where the parent lead. Do YOU go up and talk to someone new at parent gatherings? Do you notice who your child has had over and occasionally encourage a new friend for a playdate? Do you note which children may be geographically limited in their social opportunities and make a special effort to include them--perhaps offering a sleepover after a late event? Or do YOU take the easy route?
 In elementary school negative cliques that engender hurt feelings have a lot more to do with ignorance and staying in a comfort zone than being 'mean', and since children at this age are pretty much totally dependent on parents for outside of school social opportunities it has an awful lot to do with parents.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-smiler/the-benefits-of-cliques_b_5709503.html

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