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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Instead of losing respect for him, you should admire his stoicism and fortitude, and ultimate wisdom for not fighting with CRAZY.

You should instead help him set boundaries.

You're not a nice person at all, OP, and perhaps not as mature as you imagine yourself to be.
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That is pretty swift and broad judgement of me based on a venting post.  There is so much more of me to know ;-)

I am the only reason DH has set boundaries.  I have helped him.  I admire DH for many things, but when his mother attacks, it is hard for me not feel protective of our entire family. And I don't want him to "fight", but I don't like that he appeases her either.  I feel like it just further enables her to continue mistreating family.

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Pp you responded to. 
Yes, I've learned to be careful with my writing when I start a thread - too much info, people don't read, not enough, people jump to conclusions.
The bottom line is, either you continue coaching him, or you go to a therapist together.

Having BTDT, I can recommend limited contact and not sharing too much info she could use against him. It's hard to implement fully, because it goes against the impulse to share everything and bond with a loved one. The sad truth is that you can't bond with people like that, even though they can make you think that before they twist in the knife.

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