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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a very stable UMC family (grandparents were UMC, parents were UMC, I went to law school and was on my way to being UMC).

Then I bought into the "love is blind" crap and married someone who grew up poor, but through loans and scholarships put himself through law school, and secured a good job (not big law, but decent six figure income).

He has horrible, ingrained financial habits, that despite our high combined income (we make about the same amount of money), are tanking us financially.

I feel so stupid and ashamed.[/quote]

Like what? Why don't you do 100% of the money management?[/quote]

Because he won't let me. He took out credit cards in both of our names without telling me, and ran up about $40k in debt. I found out about them in April when I checked my credit report. He borrowed $50k against his 401k without telling me. He withheld his taxes as if he was head of household with three exemptions, and I didn't find out until I went to do our taxes. If there is money in the account, he spends it.

I have created a scorched earth budget to pay off the cc debt by the end of the year (I used savings to cover the tax bill), but I am afraid that when I pay them off, he will run them up again.

He will not discuss this with me, and he will not go to counseling. It is a nightmare.[/quote]

This is not a money management problem, or a class problem, this is an honesty problem.  [/quote]

Agreed. And I would second a credit freeze and two card him into counseling

My husband had LMC roots and he's excellent at managing money. [/quote]

I might go so far as to legally divorce him -- stay in the relationship, if you must, but someone who will not admit a problem, sneaks around to incur more debt, can't control spending, and won't seek help is going to take you down with him.  I am also married to someone who grew up poor and had pretty much zero in the money management skills when we first got together (he says if you never have money, you never learn how to handle anything over what you need to survive), but he's a smart guy and learned quickly.  He manages his portion of our yours-mine-and-ours arrangement differently (not necessarily worse) than I handle the mine and ours portions, but he's not a liability.[/quote]

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