Reply to Found Marijuana In Kid's Room

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Reply to "Found Marijuana In Kid's Room - Do I Tell My Ex?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your ex is very volatile, I wouldn't tell her.  Heck I wouldn't tell my DH of 25+ years because he is very volatile and his responses can be very counterproductive.

Consider this.  I knew a young person who was sent to rehab for a hard drug.  Fair enough in his book.  But he was stunned at the number of young people who were sent to this rehab for things like occasional marijuana use or a one time hospital visit for too much alcohol.  Total parent over-reaction that really alienated the kid from his parents for a very long time.  My friend was on much better terms with his parents (because the "punishment" fit the crime) than these kids were with theirs. [/quote]

Who is talking about rehab?

Anyway, you should know that in MoCo, if you're underage and you're caught high or drunk by the police, for example in a public place like a high school football game, the county will require you to do rehab and community service. I know several kids this happened to. IMO rehab is counterproductive for a first or second offense, because the kids just share tips. But the kids in the rehab you describe we're probably mostly not sent by their parents.

Anyway, OP should tell his wife. Maybe tell her by email, so she can overreact, take a deep breath, and then calm down. Email often keeps people reasonable and prevents them flying off the handle, because it's a written record.  But shared custody means shared info. I'm not sure, but the custody arrangement may even require him to share major info like this. Legal issues aside, if he wants his wife to share things like grades with him, he can't be sneaking around behind her back.

OP also didn't mention consequences. Agree with XDW on a reasonable consequence--she's grounded for a week or two. Yes, she needs a consequence. That's what parents do. It's the same as finding alcohol or cheating on tests. Even if you think pot is harmless and occasionally indulge yourself, setting no boundaries is the road to kids with no boundaries. [/quote]

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