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[quote=Anonymous]I think healthy relationships you have to sort of meet each other half way. I acknowledge that no one has to pick up a phone -their choice. No one can be pushed to create holidays and family events. Their choice. My choice is to back away because I find it weird. My choice. It is sad but I think it is for the better. I think my brothers' are in a difficult space. They married controlling women and the embarrassment of our childhood is a real thing. I think it is still used as a manipulation even after mom is not around. I am disappointed that they (brothers) are weak. The irony is my one brother gets upset that the other brother's wife doesn't answer his call. Funny how that goes. Easier not to fight although I usually see relationships where there isn't balance end up in divorce because the guys or girls get tired of control. I do think it is interesting that there has been a lot of feedback from this thread that I am controlling because I expect to have a phone call returned a few times a year and to try and create on family event a once a year. We are not talking weekly or monthly nothing like that. I think we are at a sad state in the world when planning something once a year becomes a deal breaker. I also find it sad that the sins of the parents do seem to convey. I have done all the right things with education/work/kids and I am a kind person. I am actually the guardian if something happens to one brother's kids because her family has all sorts of instability so I am good enough for that. The same time it's okay to be rude to me because of my mom. Anyway..thanks for insight. I think I will work on letting this stuff go and moving on. Hard but I know others have done this and turned out okay.[/quote]

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