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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My SIL removed me from her Facebook account and stopped having skype time between the cousins. In case it's at the advice of her lawyer / she misses me too I wrote her a letter that I'm sorry this is all happening and that I wish her peace and the door is open down the road. So who knows...

In the meantime [b]the money / debt my family told me about is on non-essentials[/b] (spa, jewelry, art,[b] replacing all the furniture in their home[/b] etc). He's not including things like mortgage, food, lawyers etc in the list. He didn't tell me about it directly - probably because he knows I'd worry.

[/quote]

I can feel your pain, OP.
It's lovely that you've reached out to her & I'm sure that she appreciates it, especially when you're not sure if the other side of the family hates you now.

Sadly though, I wouldn't expect a reply back.
Her council has most likely filled her head with paranoia about speaking to anyone from your side of the family.

As a former paralegal, I imagine her council has probably warned her that you'll try to manipulate her into saying something that your brother can use against her, or that will sabotage her during divorce proceedings.

Even if your SIL implores to her attorneys that you'd NEVER do something so morally & ethically reprehensible to her, that such behavior would go so totally against your nature that the thought is completely infallible to her, it's their job to convince her otherwise.  
They will instill as much fear, paranoia & distrust in her regarding your side of the family as they possibly can, sad to say.

The partner of our firm used to tell us that divorce is  commensurable to an all out war - a battle for the ages between two super power countries.  
Anyone that was caught behind the scenes conversing or conferring with the other side (better known as "the enemy") even if it had absolutely nothing to do with the divorce, it was considered a traitorous action & traitors CAN never and WILL never be trusted.

With regards to the the portion of your post that I bolded...
Replacing household furniture that one spouse has retained after abandoning the marital residence, IS constituted as an "essential" purchase during divorce proceedings, especially if there are children involved (not so much for the children's "physical comfort" per se, but more so for their positive mental health & maintaining a sense of normalcy for them during the divorce).

That being said, your SIL should only be purchasing furniture to [b][u]replace[/u][/b] any items that were taken by your brother when he/she moved out. 
Additionally, she should make every attempt to ensure that her purchases are either comparable/equal or "less than" in value to the items being replaced.

Replacing furniture does NOT give her carte blanche to irresponsibly splurge on overly extravagant items that the couple has NEVER owned in their marital home or is not listed as a marital asset.

There's a huge difference between purchasing quality yet affordable furniture from someplace like IKEA or Regency Furniture, and her indulging strictly on high end & expensive furniture from places like French Heritage or Restoration Hardware.

If she truly is spending irresponsibly & your brothers council is worth a lick of salt, they'll have plenty of evidence to present to the judge (especially if they're attempting to use a character assassination strategy).

When a judge is adjudicating divorce proceedings & evidence is presented showing one of the partners (either the plaintiff OR the complainant) spending marital assets haphazardly & selfishly, the judge does NOT look favorably upon them. [/quote]

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