Reply to Borderline Personality Disorder, narcissism, etc.

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[quote=Anonymous]There's only one person in my life that I think has a real personality disorder. I'm not sure if it is NPD or BPD, but I am certain that this person would be diagnosed if she ever were to seek help. I have other difficult people in my life, a father with a bad temper who was verbally abusive, a passive aggressive controlling mother, other very self-centered/controlling relatives...but this one person. This person is different.

In addition to the extreme narcissism and deep insecurities, paranoia, accusations, string of severed relationships, this person also plays constantly with who is in her "inner circle," who is accepted and loved and wanted and who is rejected. I think that is typical of people with these kinds of disorders, and if you are on the receiving end of their abuse, it can be very confusing and very hurtful, especially since there is a lot of gaslighting involved so that your view of yourself and the people around you gets distorted.

It's not until I learned about NPD and later BPD that I was able to actually get some relief and ease some of the anxiety around this person. It helped me stop blaming myself, trying to make sense of a relationship that seemed to get worse the more I tried to make it better, and I'm not even one of the main recipients of the abuse. I can understand why people suddenly cling to NPD and BPD diagnoses when they discover them and read materials like http://outofthefog.website/ (which I found out about on DCUM). You can feel so small and so out of control when your life is overwhelmed by a person with these disorders. Seeing it described and put into words is really helpful for the healing process.[/quote]

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